Hi, can we talk?
It’s about us, about our relationship. Things are great and all. But I still feel like I have to make sure you know: this is a two-way street.
It’s just, I’ve been involved with a lot of people who are used to going only one direction on any given road. And it hasn’t really worked out for me.
I know you grew up in a place where most of the thoroughfares are single trajectory. So it’s really important for me to make sure you understand where I’m coming from, which could very well be the opposite direction.
Relationships are full of ups and downs. But they’re also full of reversals and three-point turns. And I need to know you understand that, and that you understand you can’t make a left on red into oncoming traffic.
Can I be honest? Sometimes, I wonder if you even know what oncoming traffic is.
I’m sorry. Okay, it’s probably time I brought this up. My last boyfriend raced. I mean, he raced race cars. He was a racer, I guess. And he was black. Does that bother you, that he was a Black Racer? I guess I just want to hear that you’re okay with the fact that I dated a really fast snake who won the Monaco Grand Prix.
Can I ask you something? Do you look both ways before you cross? I need you to be honest with me. This is a safe space, but it’s metered and I’m out of quarters. We can’t stay long.
What am I getting at? I guess even though this is a two-way street, I still sense we’re divided by a solid yellow line. And that can be hard, because maybe I want to reveal something about myself or pass a tractor, but I just don’t feel I can because I’d be breaking the law in most states. Do you get that?
Nevermind. I can see I’m annoying you. I guess I thought both of us really cared about traffic patterns. So stupid. It’s obvious you’re not interested in having a real two-way street that would help us grow closer and also increase the vitality of adjacent business districts.
No, please don’t touch me. I literally feel like I’m a thousand miles away from you, with no connecting interstate. This always happens. I open up to someone and get detoured and have to start all over on some unpaved backroad.
Whatever. I think I should go. Call me when you’re ready to get serious about us, and about four-way stops.